Did you even know you were married to one?
There's no denying it. We exist. Long relegated to the shadows of obscurity caused by our pocket protectors and corduroy floods, those of us slapped with the geek moniker are well versed in living on the fringe of social acceptance.
We were, at the same time, reviled by the cool while being #1 on their speed dials if they had an issue with their motherboard.
Did you feel sorry for us? Did you jeer us? Maybe both? It's ok, we tend to be a very forgiving sub-species. Perhaps while you were playing beer pong or pledging frats, we were modding our Nintendos or creating 6th level wizards for Friday night D&D (don't worry, your geek will translate).
But, in the last few years (maybe even a decade or so), something's changed. The term "geek" has become something of a catch phrase, those who follow its banners more tolerated, even appreciated.
Geek-centric films are usually the top blockbusters each and every year. Genre TV shows have followings that cross over into the mainstream.
Many of you ladies (and gents too surprisingly) have, as a result, found yourself betrothed or attached to a newfound or long-time geek. Chances are, you've walked past while he watches "Lord of the Rings" for the 10th time, this time listening to the director's commentary to hear just how they made the orcs' suits of armor. Or, maybe you've had to sit through an afternoon of watching him/her play "Halo" while he negotiates his way through the final confrontation with the Covenant. How do you cope? Do you roll your eyes and carry on, choosing to remember that one time (4 years ago) when he fixed a broken toilet seat? Or maybe you just picture him in a black leather jacket on the back of a Harley, winking at you as he asks if you'd like to go for a ride?
Don't worry. We geeks aren't deluding ourselves. We know we occasionally cause eye rolls or daydreams of biker dudes.
How do you love a geek? That's really a hypothetical question. I'm assuming since you're with him/her, you love him already in spite of (or maybe even because of) his proclivities into nerd-dom.Maybe a better question would be, how do I understand my geek better?
While I don't pretend to speak for all of us, I do have some insider tips for ya.
1. Learn the differences between droids and robots.
2. Legolas is an eternal, battle savvy, elf warrior; not just the "hot dude from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies".
3. If your geek says "So say we all", he's not developing multiple personalities, he's just quoting Battlestar Galactica (that's a TV series non-geeks...actually it's two TV series, the second one being a "reboot" that...oh wait, sorry...too much geekformation).
4. A "power-up" is a video game term, and not an erectile dysfunction product.
5. While we don't always have the best muscle tone, our Master Chief (again, NOT a euphemism) does have some kick-ass abs!!!
6. We like "con's". Comic-cons, Dragon-cons, Gen-cons. To attend one with your geek and feign interest would be the ULTIMATE aphrodisiac.
7. Our iPod's are probably filled with more podcasts than music. And yes, those podcasts are probably about games, movies, or TV shows that we've already seen. Sorry.
8. Make your geek feel manly by giving him "tasks" that provide quick and easy successes. Changing a light bulb, mowing a lawn, or killing a spider (a small one) are all acceptable. You can take a risk with asking him to open a jar, but there's no guarantee. 50-50 at best.
9. Offer to be part of his D&D group. Whoa, whoa...easy. No harm, no foul if you want to run screaming from this one. But if he plays RPG's (roleplaying games), offering to be a part of it might just be the cherry on the top of a very romantic geek lover (wow, that did read weird when I typed it, but I'm sticking with it). And, after the initial bout with anti-geek hives, you might find you're actually having fun slaying those dragons.
10. Offer to take him to a geek movie before he starts to beg you to let him drag you to it. The look of surprise on his face will be well worth it.
***BONUS*** If you've read this far, rest assured...you really love your geek. Wanna go that extra mile? Just mention during a romantic encounter that you'd love to model a slave Leia outfit for him someday. Don't worry, you don't have to actually do it (but MEGA bonus points if you do). Geeks are nothing if not imaginative and the mental image will keep us going for years. So say we all!
Hope this helped, hope you laughed. But more importantly, I hope you know just how much your geek loves you. While we're devoted to Star Wars (episodes IV - VI only) and Seven of Nine, I think we're even more devoted to you. You might find, for all of our nerdiness, that we're also very loyal, romantic, and sensitive.
Just give the slave Leia thing a thought though, ok?
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